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5 Reasons Why Dating Older Women Fails

Dating older women is actually an easy task.

Age is just a number like they say. It is not a valid reason for a relationship between an older woman and a younger person not to work. Dating older women is not as strange as many people think it is. People in developed countries and saner climes do it all the time and it works for them. Thus, if you are finding it hard to date older women, the problem is most likely with you, rather than them. In this article, we will explore five reasons why your relationship with older women may fail. We will also touch on how you can avoid these mistakes. If dating an older woman interests you, you will find this article very helpful.

You don’t have enough confidence

Regardless of age, you can attract women with a significant amount of high self-esteem and self-confidence. Now, that she is older, what do you expect that an older woman would look out for in a man, albeit a younger one. One of the ways to get noticed and become attractive to a mature woman is by exuding self-confidence and high self-esteem. If you cannot hold your ground in a romantic relationship, you may not be able to attract older women, not to talk of dating them.

When older women date younger men, they are not in the relationship to babysit their partner. Rather, they want a man that knows who he is, his strengths, and can hold his own. Therefore, if low self-esteem is your problem, you can combat it by working on yourself. Avoid saying negative and depreciating things about yourself and accept new challenges with a positive mindset. Finally, work on your posture and exude confidence in the way you walk, talk, and carry yourself.

You are too dependent on her

As stated earlier, older women do not want a lapdog in a partner. When you are dating older women, you should retain your independence. You should avoid following them around and going everywhere they go. This is not to imply that you need not spend time together. It is more of saying you should impress her with your independence. You need to show her that you have your life, your interest, friends, and things that you do on your own.

The idea is to have other things going on in your life outside the woman. If an older woman feels or sees that dating her is the only thing you have going on in your life, she will likely back off and stop dating you.

You don’t try to take control

This aspect is a bit dicey so you need to be careful about it when dating older women. Older women do not like being controlled or dominated. However, this doesn’t mean that you should always be passive and always follow her lead. The fact that you are younger doesn’t mean you should treat the woman like your parent. Take an active part in the relationship. This includes planning dates, selecting venues, activities, and every other thing that happens in the relationship. You should have an input, and this input should be active. You don’t want to make her feel like being with you is work. Truth is, she will have that feeling if she keeps making all the decisions. After some time, she might get tired and leave you.

However, do not overdo this. By taking control, you want to show her that you are taking an active part in the relationship. You don’t want to come across as domineering or controlling. Older women do not like that. So an ideal way to go about it is to take turns while deciding on things. You should also seek and listen to her opinion on things This is important especially when you don’t have enough experience or knowledge about these things. You want to make her feel like a partner and not a subordinate.

You are so focused on the age difference

This mistake occurs is when you harp non-stop about her age. Some women may not care or mind. However, lot of older women detest the unsolicited reminder that they are the older partner in the relationship. This action becomes more problematic if you usually mention the age difference during an argument. Turning the age difference into a point during arguments draws on your immaturity. Finally, in some climes, dating older women is strange and not very encouraged. Thus, when you always mention the age difference between you and your partner, it makes them feel uncomfortable. It might also make them feel like you are uncomfortable with them. Either way, it doesn’t spell well for the relationship and the older woman might decide to leave you.

 You are acting out of character

Changing your personality because you are dating older women is another reason why you cannot seem to date older women. Older women may not want to date you or get out of a relationship with you if you are acting out of character. A lot of younger people feel like they need to full personality change to successfully date an older woman. There is nothing farther from the truth. This is because, in the course of changing for the woman, you would probably change yourself too much. So much that the woman may lose sight of the person she was attracted to in the first place.

You might indeed need to make some changes to the way you think and see things when dating older women. This is important especially in places where dating older women is not rampant. However, you need not lose yourself in the process. All you need to do is make minimal behavioral changes (if necessary). However, ensure that the core of yourself and your personality remains unchanged.


Dating mature women comes with a lot of advantages and unique experiences. Many people try but cannot seem to make the older woman they like fall in love with them. If you belong to this group, you are most likely making one of the five mistakes discussed in this article.